Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I don’t know what is happening to me. I do not understand. I am not experienced enough. I cannot relate. I cannot compare. I cannot understand. I do not know if you are special. I do not know if you are different. I do not know because I have never been there. I tried to call you. I tried ot be there. I used my phone that i got at Go Cells that we bought together. What am I going to do? Why can’t you tell me what I need to do? Why is this so hard? Do you feel like me? I get so confused. I am unsure. I do not understand. I do know I think of you. Is this because I am here in Noosa? If I was away, would I think of you like this? Would I wake up and have you in my head? When I go to bed, will you still be there in my heart? I know that I am awkward. I know that I am unsure. I know that I am inexperienced, reckless, immature, silly, and stupid and speak before thinking and then talk too much. I know that one day I will not be like that. I used to say with the others that I will forget them. I will look back and laugh at what I wrote. And I am unsure with you. I do not think I will laugh. I think I will cry. I think my heart will break. Because it's been so long and you've said some hurtful things and done some hurtful stuff and I still cannot stop thinking about you.

I cannot believe how long it’s been. Or short. Time is crazy!! If I may say so myself. Spring Break also brings up another amazing point: We are halfway through the semester. Our exams start the last week of April. This is absolutely incredible. How in the hell are we already halfway through the semester? Last semester went by so quickly, but it seems like this semester has been slipping by even faster, if that's possible. Back to work.