Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I don’t know what is happening to me. I do not understand. I am not experienced enough. I cannot relate. I cannot compare. I cannot understand. I do not know if you are special. I do not know if you are different. I do not know because I have never been there. I tried to call you. I tried ot be there. I used my phone that i got at Go Cells that we bought together. What am I going to do? Why can’t you tell me what I need to do? Why is this so hard? Do you feel like me? I get so confused. I am unsure. I do not understand. I do know I think of you. Is this because I am here in Noosa? If I was away, would I think of you like this? Would I wake up and have you in my head? When I go to bed, will you still be there in my heart? I know that I am awkward. I know that I am unsure. I know that I am inexperienced, reckless, immature, silly, and stupid and speak before thinking and then talk too much. I know that one day I will not be like that. I used to say with the others that I will forget them. I will look back and laugh at what I wrote. And I am unsure with you. I do not think I will laugh. I think I will cry. I think my heart will break. Because it's been so long and you've said some hurtful things and done some hurtful stuff and I still cannot stop thinking about you.


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